I'd like to tell you a little story about a young man
He arrived home one afternoon, to find various articles of clothing
Throughout his home area, that did not belong to him
This made this particular gentleman extremely upset, and rightly so
And he called his young lady to his side, and he said, Baby

I just gotta know
I just gotta know
I just gotta know
I just gotta know

Whose sportcoat is that on my rack?
Whose sportcoat is that?
Whose sportcoat is that?
I ain't got no coat like that!

Now whose hat is on the rack?
Now whose hat is on the rack?
Now whose hat is on the rack?
I ain't got me no hat like that!

Now whose car is parked right outside?
Whose car is parked right outside?
Whose car is parked right outside?
I drive a Chevy, not a goddamn Ford!
Whose cigarettes are those?
Whose cigarettes are those?
Whose cigarettes are those?
I smoke Winstons, he smokes Kools!

Whose whiskey is by the bed?
Now whose whiskey is by the bed?
Whose whiskey is by the bed?
I drink Cutty, that's J&B, babe!

Now whose pistol is that?
Whose pistol is that?
Whose pistol is that?

Whose sportcoat is that?
Whose sportcoat is that?
Whose sportcoat is that?
I ain't got me no coat like that!