Smellin' like a brewery, lookin' like a tramp
Ain't got a quarter, got a postage stamp
A five o'clock shadow boxing all around the town
Talking to the old men sleeping on the ground

Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn

Fish net stockings and high heeled shoes
Strip tease, prick tease, car keys, blues
The porno floor show, live n*** girls
Dreamy and creamy and brunette curls
Chesty Morgan and a Watermelon Rose
Froze my rent, take off all your clothes
Trench coats, bottles of old rot-gut
That bitch gonna bust a dead man's nut

Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn

Yo, cleavage, cleavage and thighs and hips
From the nape of her neck to her lipstick lips
Chopped and channeled and lowered and louvered
And a cheater slicks and baby moons
Tricky and Dicky from gay Paree
This is all hot burlesque for me
She's hot and ready, she gets 'em goin' steady
The band is shit an that's a summary
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn

Crawlin' on her belly, shakin' like jelly
I get my pussy from a Chinese deli
Listen sweetheart, if you want for more
Squash your cigarette butts on the floor
I Like Mimi and you like Jane
What was the girl in the snakeskin's name?
I hear this is early bird matinee
And I can come back most any day
You get yourself somethin' that you can't get at home
You get yourself somethin' that you can't get at home
You're checkin' out somethin', better check it at home
You're checkin' out somethin', better check it at home
Pasties and a g-string, takin' off her pants
Why you wanna twirl, why don't ya give me chance
Pasties and a g-string, a beer and a shot
Since I got divorced this is all that I got

Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Pasties and a g-string, really loud shit
Checkin' out my days, gettin' sicker of this
Gonna grab my iron, go to school, cut the town
There'd be no strip tease and no hangin' round
Ridin' out for Oprah with my Chinese bitch
Gettin' low and ugly with that yellow shit
Checkin' out my homies in a black Maserati
Eight-balls are gunnin' for a poetry party

Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan zadan zay
Bazootan zadan zootan zadan zootan Al Cohn

Checkin' out somethin' that you can't check out at home
Checkin' out somethin' that you can't check out at home
Checkin' out somethin' that you can't check out at home
Checkin' out somethin' better check it at home

Checkin' out somethin' that you can't check out at home
Check it out, motherfuckers, check it at home
Checkin' out somethin' that you can't check out at home
Better check it out, you better check it at home