Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready?

Knocky Parker told Bowlegged Sal
They all know how to kick it in Cal
They're playing this dope and this money tune
Dancing baby with a seven-mile broom
Things are bulging out the rafters like hell
D-d-down there at the Hush Hotel
They're jumping right out of their seats
Dancing to the brand new beat

Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide

The floor is polished and your Momma is gone
You can quake and roll and moan
Twenty-nine gypsies in a Cadillac stoned
Turn off the ringer on your cellular phone
Whip the air like a rainbow trout
Drag your tailpipe till you bottom out

Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide
The low bottom of the China moon
The black swan and the way too soon
Ace pocket and the dog bone gone
The peacock and the mean black swan
The rain shower and high-heeled shoe
Bombay money and I know I can do it
The sinkhole and the victory dance
It's in the pocket in the real tight pants

Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do do do the Metropolitan Glide
The Metropolitan
The Metropolitan

Show your teeth, bray like a calf
You kill me with your machine gun laugh
You make me tremble with the floor that's creaking
I've been ready to kaboom for a week
Put on your stockings and your powder and blush
Keep it all on the hush, hush, hush

Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do the Metropolitan Glide
The Metropolitan
Do the Metropolitan Glide
Do do