Well, I'm a jitterbug boy by the shoeshine
Resting on my laurels and my Hardy's too
Life of Riley on the swing shift, girls follow my drift
Once upon a time I was in showbiz too

I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers playin' at Ebbets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, unreliable sources
And I'm holding up a lamppost, if you wanna know

I seen the Wabash Cannonball, buddy, I've done it all
Because I slept with the lions and Marilyn Monroe
Had breakfast in the eye of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano, played Minnesota Fats
Burned hundred dollar bills, I eaten Mulligan stew
Got drunk with Louis Armstrong, what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle everything that he knows

So you'll ask me what I'm doin' here holdin' up a lamppost
Flippin' this quarter, tryin' to make up my mind
If it's heads, I'll go to Tennessee, tails, I'll buy a drink
If it lands on the edge, I'll keep talkin' to you