Well, I got a bad liver and a broken heart
Yeah, I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink
I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer

So welcome to the continuing saga
She was my better half and I was just a dog
And so here am I slumped, I've been chipped and I've been chumped on my stool
So buy this fool some spirits and libations
It's these railroad station bars
And all these conductors and the porters
And I'm all out of quarters

And this epitaph is the aftermath
Yeah, I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath
He's a lawyer, he ain't the one for ya

No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch
So I'll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream, it's so maudlin it seems

You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental
This ain't a purchase, it's a rental and it's purgatory
And hey, what's your story? Well I don't even care
'Cause I got my own double cross to bear
Well, I'll see your Red Label and I'll raise you one more
And you can pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more
'Cause it don't douse the flames that are started by dames
It ain't like asbestos
It don't do nothing but rest us assured
And substantiate the rumors that you've heard