I poured kerosene on my old dirty magazines
Mom and Dad, don't be mad at me
In a hole in a tree in the woods by the Mattingly's
There's a bag full of DVDs
I run where no one can see
And they'll console me
Console me
No one consoles me like they do

It's 10:30 and somebody's calling me
I ignore them with all of me
She says there's a hole in me and it looks like a coffee bean
Check the locks, pull it off to me
I run where no one can see
And she'll console me
Console me
No one controls me like she does

I'm an adventurer, I'm an adventurer
I'm just like Gulliver, that's what I said to her
She never speaks to me unless we chat privately
She never knows it's me, my handle's anthony33