You wish upon a bar
Please don't tell me where you are
Bartender warmin' up his car
To CBS FM New York
Bar loud, bar bright, first bar I see tonight
I'm gonna crawl out in the soft light, I'm gonna weep slow, meek as Christ

The phone booth's an altar in Queens, girl, why you always gotta get mean?
The buck that bought the bottle coulda struck the lotto, but I never really knew what it means
Don't tell me where you are
Don't send me holiday cards
I'ma drop dead drunk on the FDR
I wish upon a bar

It's almost Christmastime
The bartenders cutting limes
And he asks you 'bout your kids
You respectfully decline

Bar moans with calzones and verses from The Rolling Stones
I'm gonna call you from a payphone, I'm gonna make sure that you're not home

Don't tell me where you are
Don't send me holiday cards
I'ma drop dead drunk on the FDR
I wish upon a bar
Don't tell me where you are
Don't send me holiday cards
Drop drunk on the FDR
I wish upon a bar
You'll stay right where you are
I wish upon a bar
You'll come back to New York