[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ED WOOD
VS
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
BEGIN

[Verse 1: M. Night Shyamalan]
Welcome to the Village! Shyamalan's about to bring some lyrical gore
You've got no talent, Eddy, go back to fighting in the war!
Call me Oliver, because, well, I'm full of plot twists
No one likes your shit, at least I've actually made some well-known flicks!
Your films are just fake and dull, while my films are "Unbreakable"
Your name is lost among others, while M. Night is just unmistakeable
My Sixth Sense is telling me that I'm gonna leave your ass beat
Just like your dresses, you should'vе never crossed mе!

[Verse 2: Ed Wood]
I'll pull the string, release the buffalo herd, and banish you to Khaskhabar
Shove your curry down your throat for more than ruining Avatar
I figured with a sixth sense, you would know when to stop
Hell, You've made so many flops, you should start working at iHop
I SEE DEAD PEOPLE, and they're all your fans
I have a sinister urge to kick your ass to space, that's my 9th plan
If you criticize my work, I'll have to fight M. Shyamalan
Now pump my gas before it's time for Lights, Camera, Action
[Verse 3: Tim Burton]
Shut the hell up, Wood! You're only known because of me
I'm the grittiest, darkest, demented director you'll ever see!
I'll cut you up like Scissorhands, and slice you like Sweeny
And when I'm done, there'll be no one to sew you up like Frankenweenie
Shyamalan, be quick and get gone! Give us "signs" you won't come back
I'm gonna kick your ass so fast, with a Danny Elfman soundtrack
Willy Wonka? Dark! Peewee Herman? Dark! Johnny Depp is my bitch
Why don't you two get out of film and suck my black-and-white dick

[Verse 4: Alfred Hitchcock]
Black and White dick? How bout you suck a Hitchcock
The Master of Suspense has come to show you what he's brought
I'm a killer on the mic, might as well call me Psycho
Your makeup may be white, Tim, you aren't so bright though (Augh)
I'm suffering from my vertigo at the fact you're all employed
Alfred Hitchcock presents: 3 Amateurs Get Destroyed
Wood, I'll eat you like the birds, you're a failure since birth!
And Shyamalan, your rhyming is worse than your movie After Earth

[Verse 5: Peter Jackson]
After Earth? Please, I'm the God of Middle Earth
And my movies make more money than all 4 of you are worth
If you think you could stand a chance against me you're terribly wrong
Because in not too long, I'll make you fall harder than King Kong
I've seen all of your works, and it makes me braindead
I just might die of renal failure... like Alfred!
You shall not pass! I've already gained my victory
Hell, I make nerds wet their pants more than Stan Lee
[Interlude: Stanley Kubrick]
Stanley? Hah...

[Verse 6: Stanley Kubrick]
Here's Stanley! I'm gonna hit you harder than a Kubrick
Alfred, you can't do shit, and Burton you just make me sick
Beating me will be clockwork because I'm always shining
Call me the Prince because I based my work off of the King
Jackson, your movies are clearly of bad taste
But not as disturbing as the sight of M. Night's face
I'm the shining star of the directors, listen to what I've said
I'll trap this mission like my name was HAL9000 and leave you all for dead

[Interview: Steven Spielberg]
I'm sorry Stan, I'm afraid I can't let you do that

[Verse 7: Steven Spielberg]
The God of filmmaking has come to show up you wannabes
My rapping is out of this world, I'm like an MC ET
Hear my roar! I'll kick your ass out of the park, jurasically
I'll be adventuring like TinTin, and massacring you drastically
I'll show you some jaws when I'm murdering with these words
This battle's like Private Ryan, except nobody's saving you nerds
You'll never experience this honor again, so catch me if you can
None of you had a chance before this battle began
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES