2011

An August dawn breaks. Who are you?
A pretty face, perhaps, nothing more.
Golden hair and a perfect half-smile,
Surely just a shell. No character; no essence.
I don’t give you much time.
We meet again some weeks later. You speak.
I surprise myself a little because I smile.
No, because you make me smile.
We chat and suddenly it’s 5am.
Did you lose track of time as well?
This starts to happen often.
August fades and Autumn comes.
We’re friends now, you and I.
Close friends. Best friends.
You meet someone and I’m happy for you
I think.
Except you aren’t happy yourself.
You dreamt about us one night, didn’t you?
We fell in love, didn’t we?
You tell me about it. You say
You want to be with me
You think.
And you make me realise that you,
You’re my heart and soul, you’re my mind,
My dreams and ambitions intertwined.
My smiles, my laughter, everything to me,
Everything I hoped that someone would be.
But you’re heartbroken, from your last love
And you were too hasty to say to me
What you wanted;
With whom you wanted to be.
Your dream was half-right. I fell in love.
2012

A February sun sets. Who are you?
How could you do this to me?
We haven’t spoken for almost three weeks.
You apologise. I know you mean well.
It isn’t your fault. Is it?
But a part of me blames you. Hates you.
Our friendship will never be how it was.
I try to move on. None of them compare.
Jack, Josh and what was his name?
Not nearly as rare.
Coppers compared to treasure,
A fortune blown by a millionaire.
It is June now. Does this pain ever go away?
I wouldn’t know.
But I act.
I cut you from my life,
Each and every day without you
Is torture. Tearing at my heart,
Crushing it between my ribs.
Reliving our memories over
And over
and over.
Alcohol replaces you as my best friend.
Water for wine.
December, now.
Is it the end? My heart is numbed.
No hurt. No pain.
No joy. No gain.
Empty.
I pretend I barely remember you.
2013

January stars light the midnight sky.
I needed you around.
I want you back in my life.
You’re nowhere to be found.
Physically, of course, you’re there.
We speak until 11 at night.
“I’ve not got the time
To speak ‘til it’s light.”
You kind of ignore me,
Not on purpose of course,
“Just something that comes with
Age,” you retort.
I weep because I’ve lost you,
You visit me once more.
I hug you goodbye
As you walk through the door.
“Goodbye.”
Who are you?