[Verse: 1]
I don't wanna go to school
I don’t wanna follow rules
I don't wanna go to work
Everyone alive's a jerk
I don’t wanna make new friends
I just want to play pretend
Put my breakfast in a bowl
Here it is, my heart and soul

I just wanna be a professional dog
I just wanna be a professional dog

[Verse: 2]
I don't wanna pay my rent
I don't wanna represent
Ideals of humanity
I'm giving up my thumbs for Lent
Wish I could forget to read
Never caring where I've peed
Never heard of greenhouse gas
Turn around, I'll sniff your ass

I just want to be a professional dog
I just want to be a professional dog
[Verse: 3]
I don't wanna go to school
I don't wanna follow rules
I don’t wanna go to work
Everyone alive’s a jerk
I don't wanna make new friends
I just wanna play pretend
Put my breakfast in a bowl
There it is, my heart and soul

I just wanna be a professional dog (I just wanna be a professional dog)
I just wanna be a professional dog (I just wanna be a professional dog)
I just wanna be a professional dog (I just wanna be a professional dog)
I just wanna be a professional dog (I just wanna be a professional dog)

I just wanna be a professional dog (professional dog, professional dog)
I just wanna be a professional dog (professional dog, professional dog)