Valve
Meet the Scout (Script)

[Scout and his fellow teammates prepare to attack the BLU team. Scout dodges various gunfire before escaping thanks to a train passing by. Title card plays, and Scout walks on screen]

SCOUT: Um, I—I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you know even who you're talking to?

[Cut to Heavy near a Capture Point, about to eat a sandvich. Scout taps him on the head with his baseball bat.]

SCOUT: Yo, what's up?

[Cut back to Scout talking infront of the title card]

SCOUT: D—do you have any idea? Any idea who I am?

[Cut to Heavy and Scout screaming as Heavy tries to grab Scout. Then cut back to Scout talking infront of the title card.]

SCOUT: Basically? Kind of a big deal.

[Cut again to Scout trying to choke Heavy with his bat, and then back again to Scout infront of the title card, admiring his muscles.]

SCOUT: Oh man, that's beautiful.

[Cut to Heavy trying to put Scout in a headlock, and then back again to Scout infront of the title card.]

SCOUT: Are you listening? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother? I hurt people. [Scout taps the camera, leaving a visible smidge on the lense for the rest of the video.]

[Cut to Scout whacking Heavy in the gut with his bat]
SCOUT: Boink!

[Cut to title card]

SCOUT: I'm a force of nature.

[Cut to Scout whacking Heavy upside the chin with his bat]

SCOUT: Bonk!

[Cut to title card]

SCOUT: If you were from where I was from, you'd be f*cking dead!

[Cut to Scout leaping off a stack of containers to whack Heavy over the head with his bat, then back to the title card one last time]

SCOUT: Woo!

[Team Fortress 2 theme plays, then cuts to Scout eating Heavy's sandvich as he sits ontop of his unconscious body.]