[Ursula, spoken]
Well, it seems the only way to get what you want
Is to become a human yourself

[Ariel]
Can you do that?

[Ursula]
My dear sweet child, that's what I do
It's what I live for!
To help unfortunate mer-folk like yourself;
Poor souls with no one else to turn to

[Verse 1: Ursula, sung]
I admit that in the past, I've been a nasty-
They weren't kidding when they called me, well

[Ariel]
A witch?

[Ursula]
Bitch

[Ursula]
But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and all that shit
Yeah, sure
And I fortunately now a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, don't you laugh
I use it on behalf of the
Miserable, lonely, and depressed
Pathetic

[Chorus]
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, Indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron crying
"Spells,Ursula, please!"
And I help them, yeah, I do

[Verse 2]
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
[Ursula, spoken]
Oh, and there is one more thing-
We haven't discussed the subject of payment
I'm not asking for much, just a token, really. A trifle
What I want from you, is your voice

[Ariel]
My voice? But without my voice, how can I-

[Ursula]
You'll have your boobs!
Your pretty face!
And don't underestimate the importance of body language

[Verse 3: Ursula, sung]
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?
Bitch, please!

They're not all that obsessed with conversation
True gentleman avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets the man
[Chorus, sung, *spoken*]
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet
You've gotta pay the toll
*Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll*
*Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her boys*
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

*Now get out.*