ONES:
[What's happenin', sister? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. My name's Bones
I'm a Libra, a dig sunsets, strolling on the beach, and loving my neighbor as myself
And right now, baby, I'm standing next door to you.]

Picture you and me one sweet, sweet night in a pool of votive candlelight
Just one thing could make the mood more right –
God droppin' in to sing like Barry White
Hey, lady in the long black dress, let's give you something to confess
Wo oh oh! Hey lady, take a good long glance
I ain't no pastor –
I'm a stone cold master of romance!

TJ:
[That ain't no way to get a lady, honky
Here's how you talk to a sister: ave, baby
My name's TJ, scorpio. An' lemme quess, virgo, right?
Well put away that rosary, girl, 'cause I'm here to sweep you off
Your knees and take you to a place I like to call TJ Town. So…]

Loosen up those vestments, just a bit
Drop that Bible, baby yeah, that's it
See, I know what all your vows permit –
And I don't mind keepin' it immaculate!

TJ/DINERO/BONES:
Hey, lady in the long black dress
(hey! long black dress)
Let's sneak away and go transgress
(go transgress)
Wo oh oh! (wo, wo)
Hev lady, why not (hey lady, why not)
Take a chance? (take a chance?)
Come on, proud Mary, meet your missionary of romance
DINERO/TJ/BONES:
Why not lose that veil and wimple, baby!
Have some sacramental wine!
Let me lay it on ya simple, baby –

BONES:
Sister, you know I gotta…

TJ:
So let me worship at your shrine

BONES:
And if you got stigmata…

TJ/BONES:
Show me yours, I’ll show you mine!

DINERO/TJ/BONES:
Ay, mami, en el vestido provocativo! (oh wo)
Porque es Cristo tu hombre exclusivo?

TJ/BONES:
Hey lady, no more won’ts or can’ts!

DINERO:
Soy amoroso!
TJ:
I'm a virtuoso!

BONES:
And lf I'm just so so…

TJ/BONES/DINERO:
… frankly, you won't know, so –

TJ:
Sweet lady in the long, black dress!

DINERO:
Sweet lady!

BONES:
Sweet lady!

TJ/BONES/DINERO:
Please tell me what's latin for ‘yes'?
Wo oh oh!
Hey lady, don'tcha look askance!
Come on, say hiya to your love Messiah and don't make me try a new advance
Forget Jehovah, 'cause the wait is ovah
Come to Casanova for romance
BONES:
[Man, we're smoooove!]

TJ:
[No nun can say no to us!]

DINERO:
[Vamos, hermanos! Al convento!]

BONES:
Wo wo baby, baby baby oo

DINERO:
Wo wo wo – oo

TJ:
Wo wo yeah veah yeah

TJ/BONES/DINERO:
Wo wo!