MONSIGNOR HOWARD:
[Welcome this Sunday morning. Oh ye few, but faithful. The choir
I am told, has been working diligently all week long under a new director
Sister Mary Clarence, who will now lead them in sacred hymn. Sisters...]

NUN CHOIR/DELORIS:
Benedicta tu (benedicta tu)
In mulieribus (in mulieribus)
Et benedictus fructis ventris tui Iesus (Iesus)

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[Ay, Sisters, that's the loveliest you've ever sound -…]

DELORIS:
[A one-two-three-four! Here they one, falks! Hot off their
Novenas, blisterin’ with sisterhood. Queen
Of Angels is proud to present - The divas
Who Believe-a. The nuns with the Fun
Voulez-vous prier avec The Little Sisters of
Our Mother of Perpetual Faith!]

NUNS:
I been thinkin' aboutcha since receivin' your call
Can’t see livin’ withoutcha, You’ve got me mind, soul, body and all!

DELORIS/NUNS:
Pray and I pray every night and each day –
DELORIS:
Hopin' that you'll drop a line

DELORIS/NUNS:
Pray and I pray 'til you sweep me away –

DELORIS:
Straight to cloud number nine!

DELORIS/NUNS:

Aw, you are simply too divine!

Take me to heaven (heaven!)

Take me to ecstasy (ecstasy!)

NUNS:
I'll give you all I've got, 'cause nothin's as hot as when you groove with me!
No, no, no, no

DELORIS:
And when you strut your stuff, and do your thing
I just can't help surrendering!

DELORIS/NUNS:
You're so strong, you’re so sweet
You’re what makes me complete. I just worship at your feet!
Take me to heaven, take me to kingdom come
I'll take any vow –

DELORIS:
Just take me now!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[Monsignor. I'm shocked - I don’t know what to say!]

MONSIGNOR:
[Neither do I! Look, people are coming in off the street to hear them!]

DELORIS/NUNS:
(You know)
Ooh, baby, (just how to thrill me -)
I wanna praise your (ah!) name to the skies!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[What are you doing?!]

DELORIS:
[And puttin' booties in the seaties, Mama!]

DELORIS/NUNS:
Ooh, baby, (only you can fulfill me)
I've given up on all other guys! (Ah -)
MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[Sister Mary Clarence!]

DELORIS:
[Be with ya in a sec, I'm workin' the room!]

DELORIS/NUNS:
Take me to heaven! Take me to paradise!

Give me your healing touch
I need it so much!
(And, oh, it feels so nice!)
Just tell me what you want
I can't refuse day or night
I’m yours to use!
(I’ll get on my knees – Just take me please!)

DELORIS:
[If you like our sound, falks, shake your
Pockets to the beat! And toss whatever
You find in the offering basket, so we can
Keep giving the love to The Man Up Above!]


MARY PATRICK/NUNS:
Don't know how you do
What you do, (unh - unh)
It's like you're almost
Too good to be true (unh- huh)
You're my hope! (Hope!)
You're my dream! (Dream!)

DELORIS/NUNS;
You rock my world! You reign supreme!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[Sister Mary Patrick, oh dear Lord! Mary Lazarus! You know better than this!]

MARY LAZARUS/NUNS:
You put the boogie – uh! (uh!) into my soul!

You got the boogie – uh! (uh!)
Makes me lose control. (Beep beep!)

NUNS:
Hoo hoo hoo!

MARY ROBERT:
My booty’s headin’ for a special place
Where people shake it, baby, wrapped in love’s embrace!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[No! Not little Mary Robert!]

PHOTOGRAPHER 1:
[Philadelphia Inquirer.]

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[This is profanity!]

DELORIS:
[It’s fabulous!]

PHOTOGRAPHER 2:
[Smile, sisters!]

PHOTOGRAPHER 1:
[Smile!]

PHOTOGRAPHER 2:
[Smile!]

DELORIS:
[Come on, Mama, smile!]

NUNS:
Take me to heaven!

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[This is an abomination!]

DELORIS:
[Maybe so, but the crowd’s eatin’ it up!]

MARY PATRICK:
[Look at those tithings pour in!]

MARY LAZARUS:
[This’ll save our parish, for sure!]

MOTHER SUPERIOR:
[Get out of my sanctuary!]

DELORIS:
[Back offa my stage!]

MONSIGNOR:
[Oh, sister – you do make a joyful noise! And Reverend Mother –
Bless you for seeing the light. Sister Mary Clarencce is our salvation!]

NUNS:
Take me higher! Take me higher!
Aww. Take me to heaven!
Aww. Take me to heaven!
Aww. Take me to heaven! Take me there!