[BERNSTEIN, spoken]
Seymour Krelborn
Sweety, honey, baby, pussycat

(sung)
Hey Seymour Krelborn, you prince you
My name is Bernstein, I'm with NBC
I came down here to convince you
To do a weekly TV show for me
Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips
For half an hour on Sundays at four
T.V.'s first home-gardening program
You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em by and by

[SKIP SNIP, spoken]
Seymour Krelborn
Pleased to meet you, kid
Skip Snip, William Morris Agency
(sung)
Forget the cable we sent you
It's nice to meet me, the pleasure is yours
Now let my firm represent you
We want to book you on lecturing tours
College campus, Rotary Club
The kind of bookings my office can do
Show the plant, then talk, answer questions
It's educational, lucrative too!

[SEYMOUR]
My future's starting
I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and gee
My bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way! Forget it!
It's much too dangerous to keep the plant alive
I take these offers
That means more killing
Who knew success would come with
Messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts
That means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things!

No, no, there's only so far you can bend
No, no, this nightmare must come to an end
No, no, you've got no alternative
Seymour old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed
It's the only solution, It can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed
But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impoverished as before
She might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore

[URCHINS]
They say the meek shall inherit

[SEYMOUR]
Where do I sign?

[URCHINS]
You know the book doesn't lie

[SKIP SNIP]
Right on the line

[URCHINS]
It's not a question of merit

[SKIP SNIP]
That'll do fine

[URCHINS]
It's not demand and supply
[SKIP SNIP]
This copy's mine

[URCHINS]
You'll make a fortune, we swear it

[SKIP SNIP]
Couldn't go wrong

[URCHINS]
If on this fact you rely

[SKIP SNIP]
Bye bye, so long

[URCHINS]
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em

[SEYMOUR & URCHINS]
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em
By and by