[NARRATOR, spoken]
You go girls...

[CALLIOPE, spoken]
We are the muses
Goddesses of the arts
And proclaimers of heroes

[TERPSICHORE, spoken]
Heroes like Hercules

[THALIA, spoken]
Honey you mean Hunk-ules!
Woohoo, I'd like to make some sweet music—

[CALLIOPE, spoken]
Our story actually begins long before Hercules
Many eons ago

(sung)
Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok

[THALIA]
It was a nasty place!
There was a mess wherever you stepped
[CALLIOPE]
Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept

[THALIA, spoken]
Woo! Say it, girlfriend!

[MUSES]
And then along came Zeus

[CALLIOPE]
He hurled his thunderbolt

[MUSES]
He zapped

[THALIA]
Locked those suckers in a vault

[MUSES]
They're trapped
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks
And that's the gospel truth
The guy was too type A to just relax

[TERPSICHORE]
And that's the world's first dish
[THALIA, spoken]
Yeah, baby

[MELPOMENE]
Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth

[MUSES]
Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth
On Mount Olympus, life was neat
And smooth as sweet vermouth
Although, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth