[King Richard]
If I were a jolly blacksmith
What a happy guy I'd be
I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff
In my blacksmithery
I would hit the thing
With the other thing
'Till I made a different thing!
If I were a jolly blacksmith!
No, I'm not feeling it
Besides, I'd get filthy
There must be something better. Ooh!
If I were a friendly farmer
Wouldn't that be oh so sweet?
I'd be planting greens and lots of beans
And other things to eat
Then I'd plant some eggs, then a couple pigs
Then a yummy chocolate cake!
No, that's not right
Besides, any moron can plant a cake
I want to be special, needed, liked! I've got it!
If I were a merry brewer
That would be a grand career
I would pick the grapes and peel the grapes
And stomp them into beer
Dammit!
I don't know how to do anything except be a king!
No one wants me to be a king
If I'm just a jolly nothing
What am I supposed to do?
I don't have a skill, no niche to fill
No one to come home to
Don't know where to go, don't know how to fit
Don't know who to even be
If I were a jolly tailor, juggler, barber, wet nurse, cesspool worker
Ugh, what difference does it make?
I would still be me