Alan Menken
Jackass in a Can
[SQUIRE 4]
Your average knight in armor, he's utterly the pits
[SQUIRE 3]
His ego's so humungous, his helmet barely fits
[SQUIRE 4]
He wears two tons of padding and thinks he's quite the man
[SQUIRE 2]
He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can
[SQUIRES]
A jackass in a can
There's nothing worser than
Some high and mighty jackass in a can
[SQUIRE 1, SPOKEN]
My master hasn't had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years. I got him cravin' it now. I gave him two months without it, he said it didn't taste right
[SQUIRE 2, SPOKEN]
So, what about your knight? Is he as bad as ours?
[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Uh, yeah, sure
[GALAVANT]
There's all that fame and glory
[SQUIRE 1]
The smell, though? Not so great
[GALAVANT]
And then those big, long lances
[SQUIRE 3]
Yeah, to overcompensate
[GALAVANT]
The glamor and swagger
[SQUIRE 1]
Yeah, I'm not really a fan
[GALAVANT]
He's quite —
[SQUIRES]
A major dillweed?
[GALAVANT]
In a fancy metal can
[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
A dillweed in a can
There's nothing lamer than
A condescending dillweed in a can
[SQUIRE 1]
And who does all the planning
[SQUIRE 2]
Yeah, and who does all the work
[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
True
[SQUIRE 4]
Who gets no vacation
[SQUIRE 3]
Not one pay raise, not one perk
[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Good point
[SQUIRE 2]
Whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan?
[GALAVANT]
Your average, humble squire?
[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
And not the meathead in the can
That jerkface in a can
There's nothing sadder than
[GALAVANT]
Some over muscled, chauvinistic
Self indulgent, egotistic
Stingy, prissy, narcississy
[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
Jackass in a can!
[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Oh, my God. That's me