[NARRATOR]
Way back in days of old
There was a legend told
About a hero known as Galavant

[WOMAN]
Square jaw and perfect hair

[OLD MAN]
Cojones out to there

[TOWNSPEOPLE]
There was no hero quite like Galavant

[BLACKSMITH]
Tough, plus every other manly value

[KIDS]
Mess with him, he'll disembowel you

[WOMAN]
Yay, he ruled in every way

[MAN IN PILLORY]
A fairy-tale cliche
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
And people called him Galavant

[NARRATOR]
The man we're speaking of
He had a lady love
And Madalena, she was one fair maiden
Long legs and perfect skin
A body built for sin
With cleavage you could hold a whole parade in

Ah, true love was never this ecstatic
Nor as wildly acrobatic
Yes! He loved her to excess
Thrice daily more or less
And she'd be screaming, "Galavant!"

One tiny problem soon would arise:
Richard, a nearby king of wealth and stature
He watched Madalena, lust in his eyes
And he asked her for her hand
Well, more like a demand
Well, more like had his henchmen snatch her

Which brings us to today
The royal wedding day
No one can stop it now but Galavant
Poor Madalena waits
Behind King Richard's gates
For the arrival of her Galavant
Now, at last, begins our true adventure
Epic, wild, a real butt-clencher!
So, huzzah and tally ho!
Sit back and here we go!
Attend the tale of

[NARRATOR & MADALENA]
Galavant