[Verse 1: Jaret Reddick]
I never thought that I would ever be that guy
But now you got me falling back like Daylight Savings Time
And now the nights are so long
Like when you left me there stranded at the Green Day show
You took off with a guy who looked like Billie Joe
And that night was so long
And now I walk this road alone

[Pre-Chorus 1: Jaret Reddick]
And when I brought you shit you just re-gifted it
What's your mom gonna do with a DVD of Rush Hour 2 (No fucking way)

[Chorus: Patent Pending]
Oh, I never have a clue
I never know what you're gonna put me through
Destroy my world and leave me black and blue
Break my bones in half along the path of all the shit you do, that's classic you

[Verse 2: Jaret Reddick]
You tied me to the bed post and took all my cash
Got an appointment with the web-MD about this rash
I don't understand
You made the big mistake of leaving out your phone
I saw that you were texting Corey when I wasn't home
But I understand because he's such a handsome man (He's so hot right now)
[Pre-Chorus 2: Jaret Reddick]
I lean in for a kiss
You say you're over this
And I'm still really pissed that you let your mom take Rush Hour 2

[Chorus: Patent Pending]
Oh, I never have a clue
I never know what you're gonna put me through
Destroy my world and leave me black and blue
Break my bones in half along the path of all the shit you do, that's classic you

[Bridge: Jaret Reddick]
You found a way to sabotage return of the Jedi
Made a mockery of Texas taco fest
I know everyone is capable of ruining something but girl you mess up everything the best
It feels like déjà vu but I know, that's classic you

[Chorus: Patent Pending]
Oh, I never have a clue
I never know what you're gonna put me through
Destroy my world and leave me black and blue
Break my bones in half along the path of all the shit you do, that's classic you