Lucy was a dominatrix, who never got the hang of high heels
She walked like a giraffe with scoliosis, but she loved the way that leather feels

Terry was a child molester, he said that he was born this way
Never let his nephew sit upon his lap because he didn't want to raise him gay

[Chorus:]
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad?”
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? If you were in my shoes, would you still do what I do?”

Manny was a serial killer, who fainted at the sight of blood
He hacked up women who looked like his mother, but it cured his insomnia

Jeremiah was a rapist, with a bit of a feminist streak
Roofies at the bar left emotional scars, but he always called back within a week

[Chorus:]
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad?”
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? If you were in my shoes, would you still do what I do?”

*scat singing*

Henry was a gun for hire, made a living making people die
But the money came and went when he spent every cent keeping his brain-dead mother alive

Patrick was a faith healer, who cried when God took his son
When congenital heart disease reared its head, he still dialed 911

[Chorus:]
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I bad?”
Now he's singing “Oooh, what do you think of me? If you were in my shoes, I bet you fuckers do just what I do!”

Oh-oh lalalalalala lalalalalalala alalalalalalalalaaaaa