[Spoken]
I lost all the male figures in my life and most of my family within the span of two months, both through death and abandonment, then I went to a very white, very racist school in my area and in there I've lost a lot of my childhood, I lost a lot of my hope and my ability to trust people and I didn't process it initally 'cause I was so young and everything was happening so fast and I didn't understand in the moment, not until I reached high school and I would have anxiety and panic attacks just by socializing that I would faint, I would faint three to five times a day, my body would shut down and in order to deal with that, journaling, walking and talking and music has helped me a lot. Not to be a kiss ass, but me and all the black girls in my grade and the grade below me, sat and listened to "The Hills" and cried together because, wow, it may not have been your intention but you accidentaly wrote exactly how we felt