Big Ted's dead , he was a great old pig
He'd eat most anything, never wore a wig
Now he's gone like snow on the water, goodbye

He was getting old, so the farmer said
"Sold him to the butcher just to make a little bread"
He's gone like snow on the water, don't cry

Ted may be a moo-cow next time around
Giving sweet milk to the people in the town
He'll be whatever he will choose on air or sea or ground

The sows are busy with the piglets fine
I'd put them in the forest now if they were mine
Cause I know they like acorns and I don't like bacon

Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy
Squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly
Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy
Sham sham sharoo, oh sham sham sharoo
Big Ted's sold and gone

He came into the kitchen while we were away
He took all the rice and he forgot to pay
He’s gone like snow on the water, don’t cry
He never cared to do the boogaloo dance
All he ever thought about was food and romance
Now he's gone like snow on the water, don’t cry

Ted may be a moo-cow next time around
Giving sweet milk to the people in the town
He'll be whatever he will choose on air or sea or ground

The sows are busy with the piglets fine
I'd put them in the forest now if they were mine
Cause I know they like acorns and I don't like bacon

Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy
Squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly, squidly
Boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy, boochy
Sham sham sharoo, oh sham sham sharoo
Big Ted's sold and gone