[Verse 1]
Here he comes, mother's pride
With the first ever satchel she bought him swinging by his side
Here he comes, mother's pride
With a headful of 'Get your laces tied' and 'Woe betide'

[Pre-Chorus 1]
With a year's supply of sandwiches and fairy cakes
That she provides for him to eat at dinner breaks
It's no surprise at all, at all the friends he makes
His stomach aches (He's mother's pride)

[Chorus 1]
He's presentable, well looked after
He's domestically disastrous
He's adorable;
Mother's pride

[Verse 2]
Here he comes, father's pride
With a head filled up with devil dogs and genocide
Here he comes, father's pride
He's showing all the kids his tickets for ringside

[Pre-Chorus 2]
He'll always roam the yard looking for a fight
He'll pick on all the kids who're twice his height
He's the reason dinner ladies toss and turn at night
Teacher's blight (Father's pride)
[Chorus 2]
He's the image of his dad
Mickey Mouse meets Jack the Lad
He's never sad;
Father's pride

[Outro]
Here he comes, mother's pride
Here he comes, father's pride
Here he comes, mother's pride

Father's pride...
His mother's pride...