[Intro]

[Verse 1: Dave Hemingway]
Close your legs, open your mind
Leave those compliments well behind
Dig a little deeper into yourself
And you may find

Come over here, just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns

[Chorus: Paul Heaton, Hemingway, Hemingway & Heaton]
(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

[Verse 2: Hemingway]
Make their day and go ahead
Remove your clothes, lie on their bed
Just a last-gasp chance or an outside bet
To the easily led
And before you do just what you do
Here's one thought for you to chew:
The men who run the business that you sell?
They screw you too

[Chorus: Heaton, Hemingway, Hemingway & Heaton]
(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

[Bridge: Hemingway]
You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy

[Verse 3: Hemingway]
Your picture's hanging pretty on the squaddies' walls
You're Steven's, Andy's, you're Iain's, you're Paul's
Your body's thought of fondly in the rugby mauls
But you want more
Your name is always mentioned in the jokes we crack
You're coaching horses and your wolf packs
Your poses turn the passive into maniacs
But you want more

[Chorus: Heaton, Hemingway, Hemingway & Heaton]
(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

[Chorus: Heaton, Hemingway, Hemingway & Heaton]
(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

(36D!) So what?
(D!) So what?
Is that all that you've got?

[Instrumental]

[Outro: Heaton, Hemingway]
(36D!) So what, so what?
(36D!) So what, so what?
(36D!) So what, so what?
(36D!) So what?
He was trying to save his job
(36D!)
(36D!)
He was trying to save his job!