[Verse 1]
This table has four sturdy legs
A heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud, my friend
This one never even spoke

[Chorus]
I've been sat upon (ooh)
I've been spat upon (ooh)
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher when someone thinks they're dead

I've been dined upon (ooh)
I've been wined upon (ooh)
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk when they should have been at school

[Verse 2]
This table's been pushed against the door
When tempers, well tempers flare at night
Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend
When someone thinks that they are right

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Or I'll turn to the coffin in your grave
[Chorus]

[Bridge]