[Verse 1]
When you're too old for the swings
You tend to choose the slide
And they never seem to warn you
The slide's your final ride

And when you're at the top of it
And you cannot see the end
Either don't let go, son
Or grab the nearest friend

[Pre-Chorus 1]
The slide is no respecter
Of dignity or class
As soon as you sit down on it
That slide has got your ass...

[Chorus 1]
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
(Slide, slide)
Heroes and villains have tried and cried

A broken soul at the bottom lies denied
(Slide, slide)
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
[Verse 2]
When the slide was invented
A thousand drinkers sighed
They thought they had the copyright
On the very word 'the slide'

It's a picture of innocence
On which the innocent have fried
Take the helter skelter son
It's easier than the slide

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Advice to listening parents
Or the father of the bride
Let them marry anyone
But don't let her take the slide

[Chorus 1]

[Verse 3]
It'll take you much much lower
Than you ever would have asked
'Cause as soon as you sit down on it
The slide has got your ass

[Pre-Chorus 3]
It's customers are fools
And every one of them deceased
The long and silver murderer
The devil must have greased
[Bridge]
(Aaah) I'm on it
(Aaah) You're on it
(Aaah)
(Aaah) The slide, the slide

[Chorus 2]
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
(Slide, slide)
Heroes and villains have tried and cried

A pile of broken souls at the bottom it denied
(Slide, slide)
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide

[Chorus 3]
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
(Slide, slide)
Heroes and villains have tried and cried
(Ooh)

A broken soul at the bottom it denied
(Slide, slide)
Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
(Ooh)