[Verse 1]
I woke up the other night lying on the floor
Right beside someone I'd never seen before
She said, "My name's Juliet, Romeo you ain't"
That's another good reason not to drink

[Chorus]
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober, I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this, I'll end up like old Hank
That's another good reason not to drink

[Verse 2]
I can't go see my best friend, he said stay away
Just because of what I said on his wedding day
He ought to call her Sherman 'cause she looks just like a tank
That's another good reason not to drink

[Chorus]
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober, I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this, I'll end up like old Hank
That's another good reason not to drink

[Verse 3]
I'm gonna sue the city about that policeman
Last night as I left the bar, he stepped right on my hand
He said, "Are you drunk or blind?" I said, "Let me think"
That's another good reason not to drink
[Chorus]
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober, I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this, I'll end up like old Hank
That's another good reason not to drink
That's another good reason not to drink
When I'm sober, I'm almost a saint
If I keep going on like this, I'll end up like old Hank
That's another good reason

[Outro]
Baby, let me in, I'm freezing
Another good reason not to drink