[Verse 1]
Hey, you were standing
By the screen door slamming
Rather clear what's taking place
You were holding onto Louie
He was packing, he was heavy
That plastic handle just about to break

[Verse 2]
Well, then you picked up Chloe
She knew y'all were going
She started barking like a tank
I was shocked and I was joking
But I will not be lonely
'Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank

[Chorus]
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank
[Verse 3]
Well, now you left screaming
And your tires screeching
That little dog right in your lap
I became a little sad
And called up my old dad, he said
Son, you just woke me from my nap

[Verse 4]
I told him you had left me, he said
Son, now don't you hate me
You know exactly what I think
You know you're better off
You can fish and you can golf
You still got Jim and Jack and Hank

[Chorus]
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank
[Post-Chorus]
That's right!

[Bridge]
So I got out the whiskey
And I began to listen to the songs
Out in my truck you couldn't crank
I started feeling empty
Then again it hit me
I've got Jim and Jack and Hank

[Chorus]
Take your string bikinis
Your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water
And that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes
All that stuff for ladies
To me you're just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don't need you, I got
Jim and Jack and Hank

[Outro]
Yeah, now, go on and leave me
Baby, I don't need you
I got Jim and Jack and Hank
That's right, you go ahead
I'll be a-okay, cause I got Jose
Captain Morgan
Not to mention called old George
And Tammy and Loretta, Merle
Willie Nelson, Big John Cash
How about old Jimmy Buffett?
Bring him in there
When that sun's shining
George Strait, an old friend
Can't forget Hank Jr
And all his rowdy friends
I'm gonna clean out the whole closet
Baby, ah, yeah, goodbye