Playing on his slide trombone
In a certain monotone
He was known as Mister Monotony

Any pleasant interlude
That would mean a change of mood
Didn't go with Mister Monotony

Sometimes he would change the key
But the same dull melody
Would emerge from Mister Monotony

Folks for miles would run away
Only one preferred to stay
She would come around and say
"Have you got monotony today?"

They got married as they should
And around the neighborhood
She was known as Mrs. Monotony

They were happy as could be
And they raised a family
Six or seven little Monotonies

From another village came a snappy clarineter
She heard his playing, strange to say, she liked it better
'Twas the end of Mister Monotony
Soon there came another bride
And she snuggled to his side
But he answered when she cried
"Have you got any monotony today?"
"Haven't got any monotony today
Can't play
Today
Haven't got any monotony today"