[Verse 1]
If you're having trouble with the high school head
He's giving you the blues
You wanna graduate, but not in his bed
Here's what you gotta do:
Pick up the phone, I'm always home
Call me anytime
Just ring: three-six, two-four, three-six, one
I lead a life of crime

[Chorus]
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)

[Verse 2]
You got problems in your life of love?
You got a broken heart?
She's double-dealin' with your best friend
That's when the tear drops start, fella
Pick up the phone, I'm here alone
Or make a social call
Come right in, forget about her
We'll have ourselves a ball
[Chorus]
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)

[Verse 3]
If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps naggin' at you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts
Pick up the phone, leave her alone
It's time you made a stand
For a fee I'm happy to be
Your new girlfriend

[Chorus]
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)

[Bridge]
Hit you with the car and drive you to the cemetery
Put you in a boot and that's where we bury her
[Outro]
Done dirt cheap
Done dirt cheap
Done dirt cheap