[Verse 1]
Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff
Dusting plastic garlic plants they snigger in the draught
When you ride through the parlour wearing nothing but your armour

[Refrain]
Playing indoor games

[Verse 2]
One string puppet shows amuse your sycophantic friends
Who cheer your rancid recipes in fear they might offend
Whilst you loaf on your sofa, sporting falsies and a toga

[Refrain]
Playing indoor games, indoor games

[Verse 3]
Your mean teetotum sins arouse your seventh wife
Who pats her sixty little skins and reinsures your life
Whilst you sulk in your sauna 'cause you lost your jigsaw corner

[Refrain]
Playing indoor games, indoor games

[Verse 4]
Each afternoon you train baboons to sing
Or swim in purple perspex water wings
Come Saturday jump chopper, Chelsea brigade
Hard bender-trender
[Refrain]
It's all indoor games

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 5]
No ball bagatelle incites your children to conspire
They slide across your frying pan and fertilise your fire
Still you and Jones go madder, broken bones, broken ladder

[Outro]
Hey ho
Yeah, *laughter*
Hey ho, *laughter*