[Verse 1]
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went by and none came back
Brother Judas, ash and sack
Swallowed aphrodisiac
Rufus, Silas, Jonah too
Sang, "We'll blow our own canoes"
Poked a finger in the zoo
Punctured all the ballyhoo

[Verse 2]
Whipped the world and beat the clock
Wound up with their share of stock
Silver Rolls from golden rock
Shaken by a knock, knock, knock
Happy family, wave that grin
What goes round must surely spin
Cheesecake, mousetrap, Grytpype-Thynne
Cried out, "We're not Rin Tin Tin"

[Verse 3]
Uncle Rufus grew his nose
Threw away his circus clothes
Cousin Silas grew a beard
Drew another flask of weird
Nasty Jonah grew a wife
Judas drew his pruning knife
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went on but none came back
[Oboe Solo]

[Verse 4]
Happy family, pale applause
Each to his revolving doors
Silas searching, Rufus neat
Jonah caustic, Jude so sweet
Let their sergeant mirror spin
If we lose the barbers win
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went on but none come back