Ugly Duckling
You Bailed on Us!
[A. Bastard - spoken in rhythm]
Hey, guys? I don't think that I can make it out tonight. Sorry. Please don't think I'm bailing on you!

[Max & Aaron]
You bailed on us!
You bailed on us!
Where's the trust?!
You bailed on us!

You bailed on us!
You bailed on us!
You said you'd show up
Then you bailed on us!

[Max]
What the frick is this?!
We made plans
Now they're gone with the wind
You flaky motherfucker
Don't lie to me and dramatize your life's chaos
Okay, boss?
Now quit the false appeal to my pathos

[Aaron]
Cancelling plans once again to watch Netflix
Check this, that's how you die alone
Don't give a frick that you're anxious, we all are
That's why we aimed to flippin' mitigate
That feeling as a squad
[Max & Aaron]
But you bailed on us!
You bailed on us!
We're playing man down 'cause our friend is sus!
You bailed on us!
You bailed on u-

[spoken]
[A. Bastard]
Guys! For the last time, I didn't bail on you!

[Max]
Well, then, where have you been?

[A. Bastard]
I've been in quarantine

[Aaron]
Oh, God...

[A. Bastard]
The whole city's locked down!

[Max]
Really?
[A. Bastard]
You shouldn't even be outside right now!

[Max]
Really?

[A. Bastard]
It's a misdemeanor!

[Max]
Really?

[A. Bastard]
I'm calling the cops

[Aaron]
Oh, no!

[Lead Detective]
This is the police! Get down!

[Max]
Please don't shoot!

[Partner]
I think he's infected!
[Lead Detective]
Take the shot

[Aaron]
Don't do it!

[Partner]
Why did you have to go outside?!

[Max]
But officer... You're outside, too!

[Partner]
Oh, no. He's right! I have to kill me! It's the law!

[The Partner begins screaming. So do A. Bastard, Aaron, and Max. The Lead Detective watches emotionlessly as his partner shoots himself.]