[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes up

[Link Neal]
My hair goes down

[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes up

[Link Neal]
My hair goes down

[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes up

[Link Neal]
My hair goes

[Link Neal, Rhett McLaughlin]
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)

[Link Neal]
My hair flows like a waterfall
Over a cliff that is my face
[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes heaven-bound
Dirty blonde rockets into space

[Link Neal]
Mmm, my hair conceals my elf ears
They are a little bit embarrassing

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Well, with hair this high, I'm six foot nine
Making me a giant, technically speaking

[Link Neal]
Well, I can shake my hair and generate enough breeze
To locomote a toy sailboat

[Rhett McLaughlin]
I would need no broom to sweep this room
If someone spilled Honey Bunches of Oats

‘Cause my hair goes up

[Link Neal]
My hair goes down

[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes up
[Link Neal]
My hair goes down

[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair goes up

[Link Neal]
My hair goes

[Link Neal, Rhett McLaughlin]
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)

[Rhett McLaughlin]
My hair pwns gravity
It makes Sir Isaac Newton question himself

[Link Neal]
My hair looks rustic
Like I've draped my head with a beaver pelt

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Mmm, a mama bird laid some eggs up there
I didn't mind that much
She raised them in my quaff ‘till them birdies flew off
And we still keep in touch
[Link Neal]
I bet you didn't see my switch blade
Or my iPad, or my chai tea
And with a little more growth, you won't even know
I've got a full-sized baby

[Rhett McLaughlin]
(Full-sized baby)

[Link Neal]
Yeah, I'm gonna name him Ricky

[Rhett McLaughlin]
After your dad

[Link Neal]
Nope
I just always wanted to name a kid Ricky

[Rhett McLaughlin]
I would call him Richard, but I'm probably being picky
And why're you hiding a kid anyway

[Link Neal]
Well, it's actually just a robotic baby

[Rhett McLaughlin]
What were we talking about

[Link Neal]
Your hair goes up

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Your hair goes down
Your hair goes up

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Your hair goes

We interrupt the chorus of this song to bring you an important message

[Link Neal]
There are many weighty decisions you must make in life

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Like who you're gonna marry

[Link Neal]
What you're gonna do for a living

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Boxers or briefs

[Link Neal]
Or commando

[Rhett McLaughlin]
And listen, you're gonna make mistakes

[Link Neal]
You might invest your life savings in dehydrated water

[Rhett McLaughlin]
You might forget whether prohibited means you can do it or you can't do it

[Link Neal]
You might ask a non-pregnant woman if she's pregnant

[Rhett McLaughlin]
That's okay, you'll recover

[Link Neal]
But just make sure you get this

[Rhett McLaughlin & Link Neal]
One, most important, course-of-your-life-altering choice right

[Man]
Can I have my baby back now?

[Link Neal]
Yeah

[Rhett McLaughlin]
Does your hair go up

[Link Neal]
Or does it go

[Link Neal, Rhett McLaughlin]
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)
Down (Up)