I've crushed cans
And I've crushed gravel
And I crushed grandma's leg
In the door of a Cadillac
(She walks with a limp, but she learned her lesson)

Now I'm crushin' on you babe
Like the grainy innards of a store-bought hacky-sack
(Y'know how a hacky-sack has that ksh-ksh-ksh in it?)

I drunk a beverage with crushed ice
And it was nice
But not nearly as nice as what one night with you might be like

I'd like to crush you
Under the weight of my love
Brushin' up against you is like
Touchin' an electric dove

I've crushed dirt clods with my boots
And boxes after I moved
But what I wouldn't do for a thirty-second convo with you

I'd show you my collection of Civil War prosthetics
And tell you a secret and never regret it
Like I've got a subdermal arm that the doctors can't explain
(I think you might regret that)
I'd take your hand, and place it in mine
Not the subdermal one, but the one outside
And then give you a manicure and grab the other hand and start the process over again
I'd like to crush you
Under the weight of my love
Brushin' up against you is like
Touchin' an electric dove
I'd like to bulldoze
The barriers between your heart and mine
I'd like to backhoe a ditch
But call the gas company ahead of time

And by call the gas company, I mean call you
What's your number?