[Verse 1: Rhett and Link]
Sick as a dog
Sick as a cat
Sick as a corrupt diplomat
Sicker than beats
Sicker than Dre
Sicker than finding an extra nugget on your lunch tray

[Chorus: Rhett and Link]
I need a chicken noodle soup bath
A chicken noodle soup bath
Just do the math
Sick plus chicken soup
Equals a chicken noodle soup bath

[Verse 2: Rhett and Link]
Sick as a dog
Sick as a cat
Sick as a Middle Ages rat
Sicker than you
Sicker than me
Sicker than fruit from a salmonella tree
(Salmonella grows on trees)

[Chorus: Rhett and Link]
I need a chicken noodle soup bath
A chicken noodle soup bath
Just do the math
Sick plus chicken soup
Equals a chicken noodle soup bath
[Whistling Solo: Link]

(Play a mouth trumpet)

[Mouth Trumpet Solo: Link]

(One more time!)

[Chorus: Rhett and Link]
I need a chicken noodle soup bath
A chicken noodle soup bath
Just do the math
Sick plus chicken soup
Equals a chicken noodle soup bath