Hi. My name is (Bard?) and this is my friend John
Thanks for having us out at your open mic night tonight at the Holy Grounds Cafe
One thing to note, my friend John is a master recordist


There's a guy in the corner in my favorite seat
The cushiony one where I sink real deep
He's gonna be there a while but he'll have to pee
Would it be too awkward for him to return and see me
In the cushiony seat?

They got a lot a Guatemalan shade grown deep in the jungle zone
And naturally decaffeinated Colombian
French Roast floats on a boat from Costa Rica
To be brewed by Sue
The underpaid barista

To buy a muffin or a scone
I'd have to take out a home equity loan
So I'll just stick with my latte and ask
What is biscotti?

At the coffee shop
A place where I can go
To sit and drink coffee
The coffee shop
A place where I can talk
To people or be quiet
An all around great place that has
Coffee!
Well, I'll take a small
Well a small's a Tall
And a medium we call Grande
Since a small and a medium both sound big
Our word for large is Vante
Isn't it Venti?
Well it's plenty
Now don't you want any?
Of course I do
What's your freshest brew?
Jamaica Blue
Blue?
Blue
Blue?
Blue
Blue?
Blue
I'll take two. Thank you

But where's your cream and sugar?

Did you just call me sugar?
...No

The cream and sugar's over there (Ah yes)
Behind the glass case containing a pair
Of Ralph Nader's biodegradable underwear
At my coffee shop
A place where I can go
To sit and drink coffee
The coffee shop
A place where I can talk
To people or be quiet
An all around great place that has
Coffee?
Y... Yeah
Coffee.