[Verse 1: Rhett and Steve and Link]

Here we see the bearded Cardinal
In his native habitat
Welcome to the Walmart parking lot
Coolin' off beneath the shade
Of a '92 Cadillac
Could life get any better?
But there's a sad truth
Like a flower that won't blossom
He'll never do the one thing
That makes being a bird awesome
Unlike his bird brethren
Traversing the sky
The bearded Cardinal
Will never fly

[Spoken: Rhett and Steve and Link]
Excuse me
I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear
Did you say I can't fly?
Yeah..
You're the bearded Cardinal, a flightless bird
Y'know what?
I'm cool with that
In fact, I see it as a positive
I wanna sing about it
[Verse 2: Rhett & Link]
I got a big beak
Feathers on fleek
I keep cool in the heat by flapping my vestigial wings
I'm down to Earth
In fact I hate heights
Who needs working wings when you're this fly?
I regurgitate meals
Into my kids' mouths
I never get sucked into a jet or hit the side of a house
Here comes a shopping cart
At a pretty high speed
If I was a bettin' bird I'd bet the cart's about to hit me

[Outro: All and Steve]
Ohhhhhhhhh!
It did
Ohhhhhhhhh!
It hurts
Ohhhhhhhhh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I'm dead