[Verse 1]
I've been on this John for way too long
Playing Candy Crush
Before my legs fall completely asleep
I better finish up and flush

So without even looking I reach over
To grab a few TP squares
But to my utter horror
There ain't no more squares there

I wonder if it would hurt
If I used the cardboard paper roll
I'm pretty sure it'd do the job
But would it make it down the bowl?
And maybe the toilet brush could work
But those bristles look a little scary
And what about that embroidered towel
I got when I got married?
She would never forgive me

[Chorus]
So I'm gon' let it dry
Just let it be
I'm gonna let it dry-y-y
Like I'm a dog on a leash
I'm gonna let it dry
Air it out in the breeze
I'm gonna let it dry-y-y
Like I'm a chimpanzee
[Verse 2]
I see a curling iron and some matches
But I can't find cotton balls
There's nail clippers and a plunger
And a poster of Lionel Richie on the wall
He would never forgive me

[Chorus]
So I'm gon' let it dry
Nobody has to know
Gonna let it dry-y-y
Like I'm a buffalo
I'm gonna let it dry
Like a bird in flight
Gonna let it dry-y-y
I'll take a shower tonight

[Outro]
I'm gonna let it dry
I'll take a shower tonight
I'm gonna let it dry
I'll take a shower tonight