-Rhett and Link talking-
Here we have a man
Who's chosen to Instagram
His apple pie a la mode
While he fumbles through the filters
His ice cream has gotten "a la hot"
And the pie "a la cold."

As you can see
This street performer's drawn a crowd
To watch him do his thing
But instead of just enjoying the show
It seems everyone's decided
To make a documentary

Notice this unreasonably attractive couple
Enjoying a reasonably priced Italian dinner together
Social networking instead of working
On getting to know each other better

How does that filtered picture taste
Since your dessert has gone to waste?

When do you think you ever will
Wanna watch this portrait juggling film?
You know you want to touch each other
Does that feel good?
He's my brother

Get off the phone now!
It's gonna be okay
There's no need to be afraid
It doesn't love you
Its gonna die one day
The government is probably
Spying on you with it anyway

Here we have a stereotypical teen
Forced to endure "Family Game Night."
He's stereotypically texting
And missing his mom
Demonstrate a carousel ride

Little Ethan here
Is celebrating being the center of the universe
For one year
But "The World's Greatest Dad"
Is more worried about 'Facebooking' it
Than actually being here

Let's listen in and see if we can get some context
"Please hurry! We're at 382 Pine."
He has the nerve to make a phone call
At such a pivotal moment in his friend's life
How could you be so disengaged?
While precious memories are being made?

Do you really think your friends need
Another baby picture in their feed?

Don't be such a self- centered guy
Now isn't that better?
"I think he just died."

Get off the phone now!
It's gonna be okay
There's no need to be afraid
(Get off the phone now!) It doesn't love you
It's gonna die one day
It's crawling with e-coli bacteria anyway
(Get off the phone now!) It's gonna be okay