[Rhett]
Who's yo daddy?

[Link]
My father
Who's yo daddy?

[Rhett]
My father
And he's better than your daddy

[Link]
Huh?
My daddy can bench press 400 pounds
800 if he uses both arms

[Rhett]
My daddy can make a delicious pizza
Using nothing but found items from your backyard

[Link]
My daddy ran a marathon in under 2 hours
On his hands

[Rhett]
My daddy was the lead singer of 90 percent
Of all popular 80s hair bands
[Link]
My daddy runs the economy from an office
Burried deep within the earth's core

[Rhett]
My daddy catches swordfish with a fish sword
A fish sword

[Link]
My daddy has a monkey butler that bring him bananas
And fresh herbal teas

[Rhett]
My daddy won a Pulitzer Prize the last time
He wrote a list of groceries

[Link]
My daddy was arrested once for smelling too good
And for being too handsome

[Rhett]
My daddy kidnapped himself and then escaped
Instead of paying his own ransom

[Link]
My daddy jumped out of a plane
And landed safely on another plane
Flying at a lower altitude
[Rhett]
My daddy conducted all the surveys used
Over the past 30 years on the Family Feud

[Link]
My daddy invented the wheel

[Rhett]
My daddy invented inventions

[Link]
My daddy put up a cardboard cutout of himself
In our cul-de-sac for crime prevention

[Rhett]
My daddy is an astronaut fireman
Specializing in space fires

[Link]
My daddy plans to relax by working
On an oil rig when he retires

[Rhett]
My daddy has a festival set up in his honor
Called "Dadcon", where people cosplay as my dad
[Link]
My daddy choreographed the knife fight
For Michael Jackson's Bad

[Rhett]
You mean Beat It

[Link]
Yes, that

[Rhett]
My daddy can get gardens to grow
Just by looking at them
In a nurturing manner

[Link]
My daddy challenged the Hulk to a fight
But the Hulk got scared and turned into Bruce Banner

[Rhett]
My daddy won a best daddy competition
Where he and your daddy were the only competitors

[Link]
My daddy was an editor on Alien vs. Preditor

[Rhett]
Really?

[Link]
Yes, but he was uncredited

[Rhett]
My daddy is an olympic gold medalist
In all events except "Not Being Awesome"

[Link]
My daddy genetically engineered a plant to grow
Fully-fried onion blossoms

[Rhett]
My daddy can beat up your daddy

[Link]
That's it?

[Rhett]
Yup

[Link]
My daddy was elected president but he turned it down
Because he was like "I don't feel like it"

[Rhett]
My daddy released the kraken
Just so he could smite it

[Link]
My daddy wins every card game he plays
Except Solitaire, where it's a draw

[Rhett]
My daddy has never failed to retrieve a price
At that game with the claw

[Link]
My daddy created a Barbecue recipe
Beloved by people of both North and South Carolina

[Rhett]
My daddy was asked to build a fence once
Maybe you've heard of it
It's called the Great Wall of China

[Link]
My daddy can teleport

[Rhett]
My daddy has telekinesis

[Link]
My daddy can telekinesisport
Meaning he has the ability to move objects with his mind
And then mentally transport himself over to where he moved them
So he can then use that object
Over in that place where he moved it to

[Rhett]
My daddy knows how to end a song perfectly
Just like I do (Who's yo daddy?)

[Link]
It didn't end
It still didn't end
I mean the song's still going

[Rhett]
I'm trying to get the DJ's attention
He's not seeing me

[Link]
Um, maybe you need to call your daddy
(Who's yo daddy?)
Now, I can call my daddy
I'm sure he could help you

[Rhett]
See?