[Verse 1]
Wish I was a Kellogg's Cornflake
Floatin' in my bowl, takin' movies
Relaxin' awhile, livin' in style
Talkin' to a raisin who occasionally plays L.A. 
Casually glancing at his toupee

[Verse 2]
Wish I was an English muffin
'Bout to make the most out of a toaster
I'd ease myself down, comin' up brown
I prefer boysenberry more than any ordinary jam
I'm a "Citizens for Boysenberry Jam" fan

[Bridge]
Ah, South California

[Verse 3]
If I become a first lieutenant
Would you put my photo on your piano?
"To Maryjane, best wishes, Martin"
Old Roger, draft-dodger
Leavin' by the basement door
Everybody knows what he's
Tippy-toeing down there for
[Outro]
Oh, really?