[Intro]
Drop your fuckin' wallet, mate
Drop it on the fuckin' ground, give me all your money
Ten pence is all you've got, mate?
I'll wet you mate

[Chorus 1]
I'm a bloke now
I live in Lundun
I say cunt now, cause I'm in Lundun
Got my Adidas, yeah I'm in Lundun
Where's my bird at?
Yeah, she's in Lundun
Yeah!

[Verse 1]
On the tube, yeah, mind the gap
I'm eating steak bakes and kebab
Pub crawl to the pastry shop
Grab a Greggs at the football club
Chelsea vs Arsenal, we've got the best clubs of them all
Shank a bloke inside the mob
You's lots are fuckin' knobs
Match done, yeah, leaving quick
Them coppers might get me knicked
Peng meal deal for my tea
Clubcard price, yeah, cheap fee
Cheeky Nando's just for me, got it hot cause I like spicy
With a side of mushy peas, then back to the pub to fight Torys
[Chorus 2]
I'm a bloke now
I live in Lundun
I say cunt now, cause I'm in Lundun
Got my Adidas, yeah I'm in Lundun
Where's my bird at?
Yeah, she's in Lundun
At a stag do
Yeah, this is Lundun
In a pub fight, cause I'm in Lundun
Fought a wanker, fuckin' Lundun
Pint at Spoons bruv?
Yeah, this is Lundun

[Outro]
What we scousers?
We fuck ya misses
What you say about my misses, bruv?
We fuck 'er
You what, mate?
Oh, I'll headbutt you, mate
Oh, fuck, I just got headbutt by a Scotsman
Scotsman? I'm a scouser you knob