[DOUG, spoken]
Woah!
Monk and Helvetica just destroyed Gutenberg's printing press
Think about that for a second

[BUD, spoken]
History does not always happen the way we think

[DOUG, spoken]
No, history is not like they always say in the so-called "history books"
Also this might not have happened

[BUD, spoken]
But it could have!

[DOUG, spoken]
Yes, see, we realized that once Gutenberg invented the printing press
There was no more story

[BUD, spoken]
So we destroyed it

[DOUG, spoken]
Now anything can happen!

[BUD, spoken]
And what's about to happen is the big act one finale
Now, as many of you already know
Every hit Broadway musical must end its first act with a soaring anthem
That tween girls will eventually struggle to sing in the shower
[DOUG, spoken]
That's why we're about to send you rockin' to the restroom!