This one time
I was running through the fields
When I came across a dead guy
With a letter in his hand
So I scanned it
And though the grammar was okay
There was such a lack of purpose
That it was difficult to care

But anyway, hidden in the mess of letters lies the awful truth
Yeah, that Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks
Yeah, nothing in this life can take her common shame away
Yeah, 'cause Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks

The next day (about ten o'clock)
It was playing on my mind (well, I say it was)
So I edited it for context (good job)
Till there was nothing fit to print

But anyway, hidden in the mess of letters lies the awful truth
Yeah, that Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks
Woah, but nothing in this life can take her common shame away
Yeah, 'cause Emma's mum and dad use plastic forks

Maybe it's an old cliché, but sometimes things are better left expected
You let your manatee down and then you drown: that's just the way with nature
I've been here once or twice before with better hair, and let me tell you
Only the good die young, except for when they don't, it's not exactly fair
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, it'll never be a kingdom's share