[Doctor]
*whistling*

[Nurse Rebecca]
Doctor! Doctor! Quick! There's a patient dying in here!

[Doctor]
Who's dying in there? And why is he so fucking patient?

[Nurse Rebecca]
Sir he's dying. This is no time to be making jokes. Come on.

[Doctor]
This is the perfect time to be making jokes, he's dying. But I will help. So, show me the room.

[Nurse Rebecca]
He's in room 256. He's losing blood fast, you better hurry.

[Doctor]
And I'm on my way. Alright, it's time to run.
*runs super fast*

[Patient]
Ahhhhhhh! I'm losing blood! I'm the patient! Help me!

[Doctor]
Don't worry sir, I've been a doctor for 12 years, i have a PHD in PHD's. Now where's the scalpel? Rebecca!? Where's the scalpel!? I thought you said it was in here!?
[Nurse Rebecca]
Sir it's in your left hand.

[Doctor]
Oh. Would you look at that. I'm so fucking stupid. Ok, now that we're ready to go, I will operate on you.

[Patient]
Ah, sir, please be serious, I'm dying.

[Doctor]
Just shut up and listen to me. I have a PHD in having PHD's. I've been a doctor for 12 years. i think I'm well qualified to be operating on you. Now shut up and let me do my thing. I'm going to insert the scalpel into your chest, alright? So I don't want you to scream, I just want you to cry.

[Patient]
I'll try my hardest.

[Doctor]
Alright, I'm going in, DEEP!
*wet scalpel noises*

[Patient]
AHHHHHHHHH! IT HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHH!
*dies*

[Nurse Rebecca]
Sir you just killed the patient!
[Doctor]
I did? Oh, I did. Another body to be counted. Let's go. I've got them kill racks.