[Intro]
Gridline Rap Battles
Colonel Sanders
Vs
Bernie Sanderrrrrrs
Begin!

[Verse 1 - Colonel Sanders (Zawesome)]
They call me the Colonel, 'cause I pop on the flame
While you kept getting Berned, so you dropped off your game
'Cause you weren't universal, now ain't that quite a shame?
What can I say? Seems like you can't run a track or a race
I'm the mothercluckin' face, godfather of the fried dish
You're stuck in second place, couldn't primary as a side dish
I saw the road you paved with MLK on thе streets
But nowadays, the only time you feel the Bеrn's when you pee
You really wanna toe-to-toe? You couldn't even sleep on Joe
Like Clinton, I'll leave you choked; open up and eat this bone
Send you to your three homes; rally up, I'll show a bird
You look like if Larry David's face was stomped on a curb
I got Mario Lopez, 'cause my *caw* is smoking
You'd only be the same taking tokes with Joe Rogan (uh!)
Your tax the rich plans weren't breaking through
So you had to get some help from Cardi B on making money move
You got so much bread, but there's no skin on this chicken
It would only take a finger to give you a lickin'
[Verse 2 - Bernie Sanders (LittleFlecks)]
Medicare for all is one of my highest priorities
So people don't go bankrupt when you clog their fucking arteries
Pardon me, I can't even listen to you start a rap
Ah, it's so cheesy that I'm feelin' another heart attack
Yeah, I'll stay sittin' with my mittens to keep my hands warm
'Cause this chicken shit's got no heat, and I won't stand for it
After you eat my words, do you want a receipt? (Yes!)
I am once again asking for you to drop the beat (ah!)
When I'm invited to climb the stand and fly my hands up, nod my head
I'm met with cries of united men who are fighting the fight v the 1%
Who are trying to buy out their rights and then
Have them sign over their lives with pen
Your franchise is stacking you piles of cash
When the guys you rely on to fry your crap make a dime and cent
What would a failed lawyer know of injustice in the system
When he battered his own clients like they were drumsticks of chicken?
Became a ferry driver, and then in time, he resigned at that
Tried to be a fireman, until he got fired, man
Your entire life's a giant box meal of failures, too
Famous for a secret recipe that they don't use

[Verse 3 - Colonel Sanders (Zawesome)]
You wanna talk about personal life?
You couldn't even organize a union with your first wife
Try my chicken box, Bernard, take a rest
At least you'll die knowing what it's like to feel a breast
Quit the Colonel slander; my, you must be high to try this
Someone must've supplied you with the wrong kind of herbs and spices
I may have gained my wings, but my legacy's not forgotten
Your whole life, you've been in the 1% at the bottom
[Verse 4 - Bernie Sanders (LittleFlecks)]
Yes!
You kicked the 8-piece bucket, then they took your face and changed it
They treat your image like your chickens, caged to make them payments
Reduced to Super Bowl adverts and dating simulators
The only thing they watered down more than you is your gravy
You've been in the shadow of yellow arches ever since
Even required a MacDonald to keep you relevant
So keep your shirt and string tie on, Kentucky Fried Conan
Those muscles must be for show, because we know that you're boneless

[Outro]
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide
Gridliiiiiine Rap Battllllllllles