[Verse 1]
Christmas celebration
All around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight
Cuz i'm running out of fight
And the pageantry is such a bore

[Verse 2]
Carollers are singing
Registers ka-chinging
And the presents are in place
But i'd rather eat some mace
'cause that egg nog always make me sick

[Chorus]
You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before (All before)
That man is so obese that
Can't get out the door (Can't get out the door)

[Verse 3]
Christmas to perfection
I'm begging for some action
And the ringing in my ears
Is the sound of christmas cheer
'cause they've knocked me screaming overboard
[Chorus]
You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before (All before)
That man is so obese that
Can't get out the door (Can't get out the door)

[Instrumental Break]
[Guitars Solo]

[Chorus]
You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before (All before)
That man is so obese that
Can't get out the door (Can't get out the door)

[Verse 5]
Christmas celebration
All around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight
Cuz i'm running out of fight
And the pageantry is such a bore

[Outro]
The pageantry is such a bore
The pageantry is such a bore
The pageantry is such a bore
The pageantry is such a bore, yeah