[Verse 1]
In a larval state
Drinking a minimum wage
I fell in with a girl so vastly superior
She wore Mardi Gras beads in her hair

[Chorus]
And I just can't get her out of my bed
Wish I'd gone with her sister instead
Love life imploded, my dice were all loaded
Can't get her out of my bed

[Post-Chorus]
I know
If she gave a fuck then it would show
And she wouldn't have me stabbing other boys
Like it's just a bit of sweetness she enjoys

[Verse 2]
Devil's daughter
So much for Simon's "50 Ways..."
What can a lonely boy do when all else seems inferior
No come-along will pull me away

[Chorus]
And I just can't get her out of my bed
Should've mainlined saltpeter instead
My vices have voted, her ass duly noted
Can't kick her out of my bed
[Bridge]
Hold on, maybe this girl is alright
Just wants the benefit of a modern love life
And I don't know the difference anymore
I've turned making bad decisions into some kind of art form
Don't mention boundaries on the phone
They slide and glide on out the door

[Chorus]
Can't get her out of my bed
Can't get her out of my bed
My vices have voted, her ass duly noted
Can't get her out of my bed

[Outro]
Slow down
I don't know what I'm hoping for
So silently I'm opening the latch
I swear she'll be the last one I dispatch